Faith Community – Column by Bob Shillingstad
My wife Jane and I have been blessed throughout our 61 years of marriage with four children, 24 grandchildren and five great-grandchildren with two more on deck. We are wealthy. Of course, as the “patriarch” of the family, I try to relate what it was like being born in 1944 and the life we have lived. They get a glassy stare and I can guess they are going to their parents later accusing Grandpa of making stuff up or just telling weird stories. For those of you that are not baby boomers, let me highlight the changes that you might not be aware of and let me assure you that I am not “making stuff up.”
Jane and I both grew up in Billings, Montana, in solid middle-class neighborhoods and were married just out of high school. Most houses were between 800 and 1100 square feet with three bedrooms and one bath. I didn’t know anyone who had more than one bathroom. If you had a garage it was a single car garage with no car typically parked in it, cars were parked along the street or driveway. Some folks had two cars, but that was the exception not the rule.
I had one friend that was from a divorced home and had a stepdad. Unusual. “No Fault Divorce” was unheard of other than Nevada which had more liberal divorce laws and the movie stars went there to split up. Divorce was allowable under two circumstances, infidelity and physical abuse. You stayed together for the children, but that changed when Ronald Reagan was the governor of California and the state adopted divorce for almost any reason and the rest of the nation soon followed. Today, about 50 percent of children in our area do not live with their biological father. This goes up to 80 percent for minority groups in large cities and the statistics tell of tragic results.
Many states and communities had “blue laws” prohibiting stores being open on Sunday, and if the law wasn’t in effect most communities followed the tradition anyway. When we say no stores were open on Sunday, we mean it. Not everyone went to church, but it was a day of rest with family. Most grocery stores closed by 8:00 or 9:00 p.m. and it truly was a family day. If mom went to the store or downtown to shop, it was a time to be presentable and dress up. No Walmart shopping attire would have been acceptable. There was a code of civility and pride of appearance.
Thrift and saving for things you wanted and paying cash was the normal way of living. The first plastic credit card came out in 1959 with American Express. MasterCard came out in 1966. Of course credit was available, but typically through the merchant, especially grocery stores. They would keep an account open for their regular customers and usually at the end of the month the customer would settle up. Banks advertised “Christmas Club Accounts” where the individual would contribute monthly to an account that would be available at Christmas time. Being in debt was considered reckless and “on a road to ruin.” Goods were purchased with cash and that discouraged impulse buying. Going out to eat or buying your lunch instead of taking it from home meant you were wealthy or foolish. By the way, the first negotiable Certificate of Deposit from a bank became available in 1961, most people had a savings account at the bank or savings and loan.
Civility demanded a dress code for your profession. Male teachers wore a coat and tie and female teachers a dress, and when we were going to school the majority of male teachers were World War II veterans. This represented respect for the position, but we have sunk to new lows in the teaching profession where the teacher shows up in a sweatshirt and jeans. The same was true for Ministers of the Gospel, bankers, physicians, and lawyers. Showing up in a plaid flannel shirt (untucked) doesn’t make you look cool, but only foolish. This is where I typically lose my audience.
Playboy was first published in the ’50’s and was as close to pornography as we could get, but now every kid with a cellphone or computer connected to the internet has the equivalent of a closet full of porn in their room and the idea of sex and marriage is twisted and perverted.
I know what you are thinking, “Wait Bob, what about all of the advances we have made and how great our life is now?” Okay, I admit that the “comfort waist” pants for men is Nobel Prize worthy and a microwave has advantages. But if it is a tradeoff, I will go back to 1960. Sure life is better now, and let’s look at what the government has done to education and healthcare.
These supposed benefits from the government make my head explode. None of my friends made the statement that, “I would go to college, but I can’t afford it.” College in Billings with many majors and graduate degrees was $100 a quarter and that included books in 1962. Pay for a student was between $1.00 to $1.50 an hour. Do the math. Education was not a financial burden, at least not until LBJ created the “Great Society” in 1966. That is when the FAF form became mandatory for parents as colleges raised the cost because the government was going to fund it. Our first two children were born while I was in college and the OB doctor charged $150 for all services and the hospital charged $165 for the stay of four days. We saved our money and paid cash. Medicare and Medicaid changed all that when the government became the provider.
The bottom line is this – we have traded family, faith, and thrift for prosperity, greed, and a selfish attitude that says, “my fulfillment and happiness is all that matters and I will trade my freedom to satisfy my passions.”
Can we go back? Maybe not. But we can realign our priorities in life to reflect what is good and will outlive us. It is an individual choice. It is revival or bust.
