The Liberated Learner — Column by Suzanne Kearney
When my now-almost-17-year-old was just a little guy smiling his cute baby-toothed grin, holding his “First Day of Kindergarten” sign, I had ambitious plans. I always knew I wanted to homeschool, though I wasn’t exactly sure what I was getting into or how to do it. But I did know that big projects need clear goals, so I set about writing a “vision statement” for our homeschool, a set of ideals that I wanted to instill into each of my children by the grace of God. While someday I might write in more detail about how I crafted that document and defined my objectives, at the moment I’m hesitant. Not because they aren’t good goals – they are – but because, now that my kids are nearing the end of their education, and I’m looking more back than forward, I’m compelled to assess how we’ve done. And I’m not going to lie – there are a lot of things that haven’t turned out “perfect.”
It reminds me of a podcast I listened to several years ago by Julie Bogart (known for her popular “Brave Writer” curriculum) entitled, “55 Things I Did NOT Do as a Homeschooler.” I was intrigued. Still a little green in my own homeschooling journey, it was actually quite encouraging for me to know all the things I could potentially “miss” and still have successful children (as Julie did). It took some of the burden of creating the “perfect” homeschool off my shoulders.
Some of the things on her list? Never using an incremented schedule; never buying a desk; not finishing curriculum or “recommended” reading lists; not doing science experiments; not tracking hours; not doing school for an entire year during a time of family crisis. Do I recommend these “nots” for your homeschool? Of course not; the point is, life happens and sometimes things fall through the cracks. It doesn’t mean your kids will fail.
Just like anything worthwhile, homeschooling is a long, arduous, patience-building process, and oftentimes things don’t turn out the way we expect. Much of the classic literature I stocked up on, and was passionate about as a child, didn’t connect with my own kids. Every educational board game I eagerly presented devolved into an episode of family feud (and I’m not talking about the TV show). My über-genius, effortless learner was far more interested in sports than academics. My easygoing middle was passionate about science and tech, two things I am woefully unqualified to teach. My “sweet” daughter turned out to be more spit and vinegar than sugar and spice, and had a formidable set of learning disabilities that did not fit into my original “plan.”
And you know what? That’s okay.
I have been doing this homeschool thing for quite a while, and I’ve learned more than just how to diagram a sentence or divide fractions. I’ve gained the wisdom that says I need to show myself, and my kids, grace. It’s okay if we don’t finish the textbook. It’s okay to take a day off to catch our breath. It’s okay to not crack a book all summer long and just be outside. It’s okay if the other mom’s kids are smarter or faster or better or more (fill-in-the-blank) than yours. Life is not a competition, and children are not cogs in a machine. Plans can change and life is unpredictable. If my kids are learning, and I’m spending time with them; if they can function in the world as capable adults someday; if they love God, family, and country, I consider that success.
If you’re considering homeschooling, don’t panic. Yes, it’s a lot of work, but your responsibility is first to God, to embrace each day, one day at a time, with whatever that day brings.
So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:34, NASB
Jesus doesn’t say, “don’t plan.” He says, “don’t worry.” In other words, make your plans, but then leave them in His hands. If you put pressure on yourself to manufacture perfect children, you will be sorely disappointed. But if you remain faithful to commit to the daily task of nurturing, informing, influencing, and bearing with the young image-bearers God gave you, with diligence and a clean conscience, He will be faithful to fill in the gaps that you are guaranteed to have. You will have done the work of making memories, spending time, and being the primary influence in your children’s lives for the vast majority of their childhood, and nothing can take that away.
I’m not quite finished with this journey yet, but I can see the sun slowly setting. My kids are not perfect, and neither am I. My “vision statement” of years past is still unfolding, and once they leave my nest, it is in the Lord’s hands to finish. It’s ultimately His work, and this gives me peace.
