The Liberated Learner — Column by Suzanne Kearney
Several years ago, much chatter arose in the homeschool community about an article in the Christian Post called “The ‘Brainy Bunch’: Christian Family Sends 7 of their 10 Homeschooled Kids to College by Age 12.” The piece outlines the Harding clan’s output of über-young doctors, scientists, mathematicians, engineers, and architects, and sports a media-worthy shot of the family, all ten perfect kids lined up by height, looking bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Friends and acquaintances, not to mention countless masses on social media, gushed about the positive publicity and “now-proven” merits of home education.
I wasn’t so thrilled.
Here I was, struggling day after day with a special-needs learner, bickering siblings, dirty dishes, laundry, and tears during math. What was wrong with us?
Not long after that, I attended a homeschool conference where Todd Wilson was the keynote speaker. “Who here has seen those homeschool catalogs, where the house is clean, Mom’s hair is perfect, and the baby is sleeping quietly as the kids happily write in workbooks with smiles on their faces?” he asked. We all raised our hands. “I want you to say something after me,” Todd continued.
“THAT’S NOT REAL.”
It’s not.
Let me tell you what homeschooling is really like. It is a daily grind, a marathon, a joy, a trial, a challenge, a journey, a duty. It is stacks of books, strewn Legos, Play-Doh in the rug, papers stuffed on random shelves. It is forgetting the “schedule” to read aloud just more chapter because the book is so good. It is drawing and painting and building while listening to history or science or literature. It is chemistry projects gone wrong, wasted money on curriculum that didn’t fit, and (sometimes) days where nobody seems to officially “learn” anything. It is spur-of-the-moment web searches and natural moments of discovery when a praying mantis lands on your porch. Occasionally, yes, it includes days where the pajamas never get changed (but not as often as the stereotype). It is the building of relationships, with all the joy, struggle, endurance, and self-sacrifice that entails.
Are you considering homeschooling? Please don’t try to re-create your own version of the Brainy Bunch. That is NOT REAL for 99.99% of us, and you will set yourself up for failure before you even begin. All you need to do is get started with the raw materials you already have: yourself, your kids, and their interests. You don’t need to be a credentialed teacher to guide your child through basic math, phonics, or any other subject. In fact, you have my permission to learn right along with them. Don’t buy the lie that only “professionals” can educate your child. Did you go through the public school system? If so, you are already equipped with everything they can provide, with one huge advantage: you know and love your child better than even the most qualified teacher in existence.
To the Brainy Bunch family, I applaud you. Your success, at least by the world’s standards, is impressive. I celebrate with your children at how their interests were supported and encouraged in your home. Most definitely, this is the right way to teach. But to the rest of us, the “average” ones – it’s okay to be normal. Set your standards for each child according to realistic expectations, and don’t be discouraged if your kid cries during math. In fact, don’t be discouraged if you cry during math. Sometimes the struggle teaches us something more important anyway.
