Rites of Passage — Column by Mark Martinez
The tension was in the air. This was not a normal weekly gathering. Everyone knew this day was coming, but it was nevertheless met with fear and trepidation.
As each family arrived, boys ages 12-13 years old along with their dad and mom, you could tell the atmosphere was different. Not the normal fun, joking around, or feasting around the snack table. Rather, a hushed discomfort with hardly any eyes meeting one another. So what was different about this week, compared to the other lessons we have already spent together?
We were going to talk about sex.
Now don’t tune out, don’t dismiss this article just yet. Hear me out, and hopefully you’ll see how this was a positive thing. After all, none of us are here on this earth without “you know what” happening first.
For the past couple dozen weeks, we parents have been mentoring our preteen and young teen sons about what it means to be a man. This is what CROP Ministries is all about. We begin with core spiritual issues about God, His Word, and His plan for humankind. We address social issues that every young person eventually encounters, such as bullying, peer pressure, substance abuse, language, and body image. It was now time to discuss human reproduction.
Why do we have a lesson on this topic? (Actually, we have two). Because most people either don’t or won’t talk about it. Most parents, most churches, and even most schools. They are fearful, they are nervous, they don’t know where to begin or where to end. By remaining silent, our kids eventually obtain either no information or poor information about this subject. I shared with the group the story of one of my wife’s childhood friends. This friend’s mom never wanted to have “the talk” with her daughter, so all that the mom told her daughter was, “Never kiss a boy because you might get pregnant!” Needless to say the daughter was perplexed when she came home pregnant one day, swearing she never kissed the boy.
When we as parents abdicate this teaching, then most kids will obtain their understanding of sexuality from the culture. That is, from peers, media, and the internet. Not the best teachers on such an important matter.
Think about it. The preteen and early teen age years are when the human body enters puberty, and the body becomes capable of creating another human. Not to mention the peer pressure and excitement of this new “ability”, it’s no wonder that young people begin to explore this new element of their being. But what happens if young people are not taught the healthy intentions that God has for sexuality within the context of an exclusive committed marriage? The fallout includes the potential for broken hearts, STDs, unplanned pregnancies, unhealthy addiction, spiritual decline and lowered self esteem. None of these are a part of God’s plan for His precious sons and daughters. This is why, at CROP, we take this subject head on and we do not shy away from such important teaching.
If you have a preteen or early teen, make the commitment now to have that ever-so-important honest conversation. Help them understand the appropriate, healthy context of how and why God created this bond to be between a husband and wife. If you need help, reach out to us at CROP Ministries. Yes, this can be a very difficult topic to discuss with your kids, but it doesn’t have to be if done correctly.
