The Liberated Learner — Column by Suzanne Kearney
On a recent social media scroll, I came across yet another panic-ridden parent urgently seeking advice on a local homeschooling board. Her child was being bullied at school and spiraling quickly. These types of cries for help are not uncommon, and are often similar in nature: Where do I start? How do I make sure she’s getting what she needs? What about grades? Testing? Diplomas? College and job possibilities?
Leaning in like a roused group of mama bears, the homeschool community rallied to her side. Many of the things they said echoed some of the thoughts I have set forth here: A safe home is always better than a harmful situation at school; a loving parent knows what his or her child needs; mental, emotional, and spiritual growth is just as important as intellectual. Many gave her advice on curriculum, taking time off to “de-school” and breathe, spending time reading, going on field trips, exploring intrinsic interests, and pointing out all the benefits that homeschooling has to offer. It was inspiring to see the encouragement this mom and her daughter expressed in a later comment on the thread.
If you find yourself in a place where you need to pull your child out of school in a hurry, I want to encourage you that you do not need to panic. In such circumstances, it is likely that everyone is under a lot of stress. A prompt withdrawal stems the bleeding by eliminating the immediate threat of a harmful situation like bullying.
Next, lessening the burden of the school schedule and all it entails – early morning start times, after school pick-ups, homework, projects, deadlines, emails and notifications from administrators, fundraisers, extracurriculars, registration, peer pressure, social cliques, screens, alcohol, drugs, explicit library books, curriculum with an agenda, and the list goes on – gives your whole family a respite from the non-stop pressure.
During this transitional time, it is perfectly fine to take a month or two to stop everything “school” while you recalibrate. Let your child bake, paint, try a new hobby, exercise, explore the outdoors, or dig deep into an interest for which there was little time before. We are incredibly blessed to live in a state and nation where this kind of option is even allowed. Take advantage of this freedom while it lasts.
As for curriculum, as I’ve written in the past, don’t work yourself into a frenzy. This is probably the easiest part of homeschooling. Go to a site like Cathy Duffy Reviews, or attend a homeschool convention that has curriculum vendors, and take your time. Look things over with your child and choose together. This is your chance to give her a customized education perfectly tailored to her learning style, interests, and talents. In Idaho, for now, no one from “the state” is breathing down your neck, so there is no need to be in a hurry – what is a month or two in view of her entire life?
If you are worried about your child finishing high school with “gaps” in her learning, stop worrying. Every high school graduate has gaps, no matter how they were educated. As adults, we all know that any lack of knowledge needed for personal or professional reasons can be remedied if and when necessary. That said, it is definitely easier to acquire the skills needed for a given job path when young, single, and still in school. Therefore, if possible, seek out a career counselor while your child is still in high school to get a feel for what she might like to do for a living, then shape her studies to align with her ultimate goals. The benefit of homeschooling is that you get to be the one who carves out every detail of the path.
Of course, “homeschooling” does not rule out using outside resources to augment a child’s curriculum. NIC offers dual credit courses for homeschoolers; local co-ops abound; online and hybrid classes and “schools” are readily available; even swapping teaching with a friend (she likes dissections and you like dissertations, so she teaches your kids science and you teach hers English). The choices available for today’s “home-educated” students can conceivably have them outside the house every day.
So, to the mom on Facebook who wants the best for her daughter – I applaud you. You faced your fear for the love of your daughter and took a leap of faith. My hope and prayer for you both is that you discover your own “homeschool” niche – whatever that looks like – and enjoy every minute of it.
And I hope she never has to face that bully again.
